SPOILER ALERT: I am starting Chapter 6 in Wild Man.
OMG - so much to say. I wanted to get the blog looking shiny and new before I posted.
Fasten those seatbelts, children...and hold on tight!
OK first off...I almost plotzed on my lounge chair when Elvira freakin showed up at the baby shower. EL-VI-RA! I had no idea we were going to get to witness her hilarity in this book, too! Love! When she whipped the fixins for Cosmos out the damn (massive) purse, I nearly fell the hell over. How much do you WISH Elvira was in your life?!? Nell Carter with cosmos, y'all. Nell with cosmos.
The fact that all of the women from Mystery Man are in Wild Man makes me very happy since I'm not over Mystery Man yet and I was missing them terribly!
BUT...(and hang on because this may sting a little)...Um Gwennie? Could you maybe SHUT IT about Jake/Brock's past? I remember a day not so long ago, dearie, when you were devastated at the BULLSHIT Cam was feeding you about Hawk's DAYS, mmmkayyy? Remember FILLER?! YOU are the FIRST one who should stand up and say "Gossip, y'all. Let her ask her man about it. Vi? (I call Elvira, "Vi") Can you fix me another one of those cosmos? Thanks, babe."
But does she do that? Nooooooo. Girlfriend sits there and tells Tess about the skank! BLORRRRRRTTTTTT. I would have been so grossed out, I'd have told Jake/Brock to go get tested and come back in 6 months (after throwing up on my latest cake). Um, EWWWWWWW. Talk about job loyalty. Gwen wasn't kidding! (That was pretty amusing, actually.)
Totally amusing: Jake/Brock being MAD at Tess for blowing him off for 3 months after he put his thingie in her whoo whoo for the first time and she made him a promise whilst his seed was still inserted in her nethers. (I'm ROFLMAO just typing that.)
HOW do I begin to respond to that?!? Um, DUDE...your jiffy lube had no sooner come back out when your boys BUSTED DOWN HER DOOR and hauled her ass down to the station! Then she was harassed by Bad Cop-turned-Good "I want to date you" Cop while you sat there and WATCHED!!! How would I feel if put in that situation? Hmm. Let's think for a minute. PISSED THE FUCK OFF!!!! He's lucky she didn't move her ass to Kentucky the next day!
(I kept thinking that if it were Hawk, he'd have had cameras on her 24/7 and would have popped back in a few times in the middle of the night for a quick one.)
OK I need to get back to reading because things are getting good. Poor Jake/Brock. Everyone hates him. Everyone but Tess, that is. When Martha and Elvira were outside watching, I was a little weirded out. Shit, ladies...you've got a night out. Go drink some more and leave poor Tess to deal with her beautiful fucked up man, mmmkay? KthxBye.
Okay! I totally agree about him making her promise while his 'jiffy lube' was still inside her. You seriously should have seen my face while reading that comment. I was totally weirded out. I texted Cari about it later but she thought he had a good point. ROTFL!!! I'm not gonna lie, Brock's crass comments don't really float my boat but for some reason I'm all over Tack! We seriously need a Cosmo Night so we can talk this shit out! I don't make any sense anymore (Did I ever?)
ReplyDeleteI was also thinking the same about Gwen! I was so surprised that she didn't say much except about the skank. Elvira is my favourite. I love how she's in everyone's business. I seriously cheered when she showed up.
Soooooo funny about Hawk sneaking in for a quickie!
You DID NOT just say filler. OMGosh. My stomach just fell. Filler. Oooooooooooo gawd.
ReplyDeleteok, I'm ok, now. Deep breath.
I've been to horrrrrrrrrible showers/parties like that. You just want to stab yourself. Women at those things can be so freaky. I WISH Vi had shown up to all the showers I've had to endure.
Carol, I had the same gross feeling re:skank. Better have his Johnson checked out before he enters. Blah.
That scene where B comes into the kitchen and they haven't laid eyes on each other for 3months? Uhhhhhhh, the angst. I freakin' loved that. And B was so bossy. I like bossy. Really like bossy.
The filler comment. OMG! When that happened I was speechless in MM. How about when Jake/Brock was like "you don't sleep naked do you? well don't start tonight". OMG!
ReplyDeleteI don't know where I am at right now. Been trying to find my old thread to continue from there, but nothing. Anyhoo I am still on Mystery Man and right now Hawk's family is over for breakfast and I am totally loving his Mom!!! Gus is disgustingly hot!
ReplyDelete