The Bitch is Back

SPOILER ALERT: I am starting Chapter 11 in WILD MAN. 

Oh snap.  Tons has gone down.  When BEOTCH Olivia showed up to pick up the boys 2 hours early...holy crap that was some sick drama!  And I loved it!  Poor Tess is all "I'll just stay in the kitchen and decorate the carrot cake while that meanie in the Prada calls me fat."  I'd have done the same though...because that Olivia isn't playing with a full deck.  I think Brock should heed Pops' advice and see what's going on over there at Dade's house.  (Is that Witchy Poo's hubster's name?  I'm too lazy to do a search at this point in the evening.)

And don't you just know women like Olivia?  Gawd...they make me gag.  I see women like that at school sometimes and I'm just like "Oh geez...why not wear some jeans and flip flops and have a freakin' cheeseburger once in a while?!"  I'm convinced all of those perfect women with perfect hair/skin/nails who never take their perfect designer clothes and heels off just can't be happy deep down.  (That's what I tell myself, anyway.)  ;)

And how about Vi calling m'girl Tess on the phone to warn her about Brock again.  At first I was like "Vi - girl - you are wrong.  Funny...but wrong."  And then Tess told her she was raped!  OMG I was hiding under the covers FROM my Kindle!  Holy shit!  As my 7 year old would say..."AWKWARD".    But Vi was all "Ummm...OK honey...Sorry to hear that.  I'll leave ya 'lone now.  You just go back to doin' that hotass bad boy over there and I'll drink a big, ol' cup-o-shut-the-fuck-up."  YIKES.

OK...so moving on... Might I say that I did CARTWHEELS when I found out Tess and I are the same age?  And BACKFLIPS when I found out Brock is 45!  Squeeee!  Finally!  A hero and heroine that aren't 25!  You can almost envision yourself living their lives (minus my crow's feet, frizzy hair and occasional IBS, that is.)

So they are heading to Brock's family's for Turkey Day and I can't WAIT to see what kind of scariness is going to ensue at THAT table.  OMG it's going to be like that movie, "Home for the Holidays" with Holly Hunter where they do nothing but fight.  I bet Pops is going to show up and they're all going to get into a brawl.  I'm telling you...this family is like a simmering pot that's about to boil over if someone leaves the lid on too long.  Mmmm hhhhmmm.  And I can't wait for the festivities!