Dream Man Take 2: Wild Man

SPOILER ALERT:  I am starting Chapter 6 in Wild Man.

OMG - so much to say.  I wanted to get the blog looking shiny and new before I posted.

Fasten those seatbelts, children...and hold on tight!

OK first off...I almost plotzed on my lounge chair when Elvira freakin showed up at the baby shower.  EL-VI-RA!  I had no idea we were going to get to witness her hilarity in this book, too!  Love!  When she whipped the fixins for Cosmos out the damn (massive) purse, I nearly fell the hell over.  How much do you WISH Elvira was in your life?!?  Nell Carter with cosmos, y'all.  Nell with cosmos.

The fact that all of the women from Mystery Man are in Wild Man makes me very happy since I'm not over Mystery Man yet and I was missing them terribly!

BUT...(and hang on because this may sting a little)...Um Gwennie?  Could you maybe SHUT IT about Jake/Brock's past?  I remember a day not so long ago, dearie, when you were devastated at the BULLSHIT Cam was feeding you about Hawk's DAYS, mmmkayyy?  Remember FILLER?!  YOU are the FIRST one who should stand up and say "Gossip, y'all.  Let her ask her man about it.  Vi? (I call Elvira, "Vi")  Can you fix me another one of those cosmos?  Thanks, babe."

But does she do that?  Nooooooo.  Girlfriend sits there and tells Tess about the skank!  BLORRRRRRTTTTTT.  I would have been so grossed out, I'd have told Jake/Brock to go get tested and come back in 6 months (after throwing up on my latest cake).  Um, EWWWWWWW.  Talk about job loyalty.  Gwen wasn't kidding!  (That was pretty amusing, actually.)

Totally amusing:  Jake/Brock being MAD at Tess for blowing him off for 3 months after he put his thingie in her whoo whoo for the first time and she made him a promise whilst his seed was still inserted in her nethers.  (I'm ROFLMAO just typing that.)

HOW do I begin to respond to that?!?  Um, DUDE...your jiffy lube had no sooner come back out when your  boys BUSTED DOWN HER DOOR and hauled her ass down to the station!  Then she was harassed by Bad Cop-turned-Good "I want to date you" Cop while you sat there and WATCHED!!!  How would I feel if put in that situation?  Hmm.  Let's think for a minute.  PISSED THE FUCK OFF!!!!  He's lucky she didn't move her ass to Kentucky the next day!

(I kept thinking that if it were Hawk, he'd have had cameras on her 24/7 and would have popped back in a few times in the middle of the night for a quick one.)

OK I need to get back to reading because things are getting good.  Poor Jake/Brock.  Everyone hates him.  Everyone but Tess, that is.  When Martha and Elvira were outside watching, I was a little weirded out.  Shit, ladies...you've got a night out.  Go drink some more and leave poor Tess to deal with her beautiful fucked up man, mmmkay?  KthxBye.